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We will all surrender eventually. 🌈 Journey Part 3

journey plantmedicine Aug 25, 2021

 To recap what’s happened in this story so far … 
A lot of crying. Connecting tears to fear, shame, grief, unworthiness.  Armor dissolving. 

What happened next 
The most profound part of the journey: surrender

During our opening ceremony, our guide had shared this wisdom:

“We will all surrender eventually.  Will you surrender now and open yourself up to all that life has to offer you, or will you wait until you’re on death's door? You get to choose.” 

I had reached the point of surrender on my journey.  I was laying there on the earth, sobbing uncontrollably, thinking to myself, what else could possibly be left here? 

And so I just kept crying
Snot-pouring-out-of-my-face-in-a-puddle-of-drool crying. The kind of cry that is so deeply cathartic but that we rarely allow ourselves because it’s so messy -- literally and emotionally! 

 Well - I was there, ready to be reborn.

 In my mind’s eye, I could see the Earth beneath me. I was also seeing visions of my mother’s face superimposed over the Earth as my guardian angel, and I could feel an umbilical cord connecting me to the center of our great mother Earth.

There was circulation between us.  

I just kept saying softly out loud over and over…

I surrender
I don’t want it
You can have it
I don’t need it
I don’t want it
I surrender

As I surrendered all of my grief, shame, and unworthiness to mother Earth, to Pele, to my mother,  I received love, nurturance, and reassurance.  It felt spacious. I felt lighter and brighter. 

Sisters kept checking in with me, but this time I only needed space. 

I understood that this was somehow the most transformational part.  

It was work that only I could do.

The surrender was giving me space for growth, for trust, for love.  This was the metamorphosis. The part where the chrysalis becomes more transparent.  When you can see the butterfly about to emerge. 

When I first came out of my chrysalis, my wings still wet, I crawled to the bathroom… I had to pee so badly I think that’s what finally brought me out of the state I was in. 

I climbed up onto the toilet, and from there made my way back to my feet.  

I was tired, I needed nourishment so ate some fruit, and found a bed. 

When I woke in the morning, I was extremely tender, weepy, and changed -- in deeply important ways. 


Allow, open to receive, and surrender.  
That was the process of my journey. 

Its true gift was the breakthrough.

Breaking through foundational layers of self-doubt, unworthiness, and shame that had accumulated from the experiences of my entire life, allowing me to embody self-acceptance more deeply than I've ever before conceived possible.

What I know is that if I stick with beliefs of fear, inadequacy, unworthiness, anger, depression, anxiety, resentment … that’s exactly where I’ll stay.  

If we want to experience something different, we have to do something different, think differently, make different choices, and learn how to identify and shift our thoughts and emotions away from old patterns and habits.   

I encourage you: take action on your own journey towards self-acceptance so that you can step into your power, into your brilliance, and shine! 

We don't have to do it alone. 

You belong here.

In Love & Service to the Sisterhood, 

PS -  I’m here for you AND I'm calling in sisters for the Full Circle program. A program dedicated to reconnecting women to their innate feminine wisdom. Right now I'm including complimentary coaching until we officially get started in Feb. That's 5 months of additional free coaching. I don't want you to have to wait. Let's get started immediately and book a no-pressure call now. 

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